I haven’t written in a while partially because I’ve been obsessively playing the Kim Kardashian Hollywood game (in yet I’m still a D-list celebrity) and partially because I haven’t had anything new to say.
I’m a senior in college who is unsure and terrified about her future. What I thought I’ve wanted to do all my life, may not be what I want to do and even though I’ve successfully interned at a few places, I’m still unsure of where I’ll be headed after the next nine months.
It’s scary. I’ve always known what’s next, but now I don’t know if grad school is the next step or if I should enter the job force. I don’t know if moving straight to Texas, NYC, or Chicago is a good idea, or if living with a family member and saving money for a few months would be better. Basically, I’m not too sure of anything.
The only people in my life that have really gone through this and successfully gotten through it are my parents (I’m sure there are others, they just haven’t shared their stories with me) and they’ve shared their insights with me, but their talks always end in “Just pray about it Brittany.”
Well, obviously. It’s not even August and I feel like I’ve been asking God to direct my path so much that I should just know by now, but I still don’t. I’m frustrated, I want answers.
The other day, I was scrolling down my Facebook timeline, rolling my eyes at the engagement posts and gasping at the new baby announcements, as usual, when I came across this video my granny had posted (she’s so cute with her Facebook).
Usually I click on a video, listen to the first 30 seconds and keep it moving, but I was intrigued (and putting off writing my final paper for my summer class) so I watch it all the way through.
It’s funny how we can get so upset with God when we aren’t even doing what we’re supposed to be. I’ve been assuming God knows I need a job, that He knows how much I need to make and where I want to work, but I haven’t been asking for it. The Bible says to ask boldly for what we want and believe that it will be done without a doubt (James 1:6). I can pray until I’m blue in the face, but if I’m just praying to pray and not to 1) listen for God’s response and 2) believe that it is already done, then why pray at all?
It’s easy to pray when everything in life is good, but when we are going through a tough time or uncertainty, that’s when we need God most, that’s when our faith is being tested and we need to lean on him.
I have been leaning on the statistics of college students without jobs and stories from friends who are recent grads, but those stories aren’t mine. They don’t reflect my life and with a good 6 months to look for jobs (and honestly a year to secure one) I shouldn’t be pulling my hair out about it already, senior year hasn’t even started yet.
I was also forgetting that what God has for me, is for me alone and no one can take it away from me.
It’s been a difficult summer, kind of boring, unproductive at times, very trying, but I know this season of confusion and hurt won’t last forever.
And even in my struggles, prayer is already working, God is already showing me He is faithful. Last night, when I was feeling down, he lead me to this video, what a great message!
Be encouraged everyone, keep your head up and keep praying, God’s got you.